Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
