Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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