scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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