Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like abortions should bother me more
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize