Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
