I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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