I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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