flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
