Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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