I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
there was a trapeze. enough said
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
