I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize