I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
