is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
