they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Small penises have feelings too.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
