He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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