Farmville is her only friend.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
