You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
