Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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