I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
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Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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