But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
