and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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