never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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