I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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