just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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