Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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