I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
