I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
