wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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