Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
