Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
the liver wants what the liver wants
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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