physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
