We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
