So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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