I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize