Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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