4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
