White coat. Heels.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
