there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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