Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
