I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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