I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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