That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
