South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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