Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
