Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
