it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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