I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
