just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
