Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Couch. On fire.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
