GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"