i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
