i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
