I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
