when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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