YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
