In the future we'll all be gay
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
