I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
