We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
