I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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