I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
