No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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