D3 body, D1 cock
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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