so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
