I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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