At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
