Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
