i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
